I Didn’t Understand

Christian Endeavour Membership Certificate

When I was a small child, I signed a pledge, promising to follow God all my life. Now, when I look at that old certificate, I think how little I understood what I was doing then. There are good promises and statements there, but it took a long time for me to grasp the whole picture, and I’m still learning!

I was sincere when I said I believed Jesus was my Saviour, and I did want to follow him, but I’ve only let God give me morsels along the way in comparison with what he was generously offering. Over the years, I’ve meditated on this and discovered how differently God views his place in my private sanctuary. He doesn’t think of me as another person to visit for an occasional bite to eat. He wants a feast with me! All the time!

It’s understandable, that at the age of eight, I wouldn’t fully comprehend the depth of a commitment to the Creator of the Universe. Neither would I clearly perceive what God was promising to do on his part. It wouldn’t have been possible for my elders to explain it all to me at that time, either! Why did it take so long for me to see what God was getting at when he showed me himself? Before I was born, he loved me so much, and wanted to live in me forever! What love! What close companionship! What a friend! But first he had to send Jesus to die in my place so I could have my sins washed away. That was the only way I could have complete peace and be with him in heaven. 

We all take time to develop our relationship with God. Anything that’s going to last forever isn’t made in a hurry! While we’re young, we’re growing in natural knowledge, and God takes on the task of teaching us how to become acquainted with him. That’s the most important thing we’ll ever know! He’s the most important person we’ll ever know!

He approaches us; we just have to respond. He’s never satisfied with a superficial friendship with his children. He wants a deep, intimate one! So I’m not sorry that I didn’t know him better when I was young. I realise he came regardless of my lack of understanding. He began by showing me a fascinating life with him. I’m learning to know him better everyday, and he’s wonderful!

I Didn’t Understand

You wanted to come. You saw I needed you.

I knew you were my Saviour when I signed, in my childish hand,

a contract with you for eternity.

But I didn’t fully understand.


You longed to fill me up, came to spread Your life in rooms that sparkled.

What beauty You planned:

Your holy light, Your fragrance.

But I still didn’t understand.


You came to stay forever and laid a spread for me.

You rejoiced in celebration. We ate and drank together.

In the background, did I hear a band?

But still, I didn’t understand.


I thought You were out there, busy being creative and good.

Not looking inside myself, I settled for the bland, the second-hand.

I only faintly sensed Your glory.

I certainly didn’t understand.


You wanted first place, to give me everything,

You needed first place; my attempts were puny,

like sand; no foundation for a home in heaven.

I began to understand.


You only have one way of living: gloriously!

Your home at my place is a heaven, a haven You’ve made.

So grand.

And now I’m learning how to understand.


Lyn Thiele  ~ 10/2017






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